No, for real, I'm still alive now

I'm not going to lie.  It's straight embarrassing to now poke my head up from out of the sand to reenter the blogging world.  It's been crazy long.  Like a teetering right on the precipice of the point of no return sort of long.  But as some wise old man or woman once said, better (super) late than never.

What have I been up to?  Er, raising two human beings who are now almost 2 years of age?  I can't really sum it all up in one entry, but I can tell you that it has been tremendous, poignant, mind numbingly boring, amazingly rewarding, stressful, exhausting, frustrating, aimless, dreamy, blissful, isolating and... absolutely precious, all at once.  Sometimes it feels like you're running a marathon with no real finish line in sight.  There's motherhood for you.

It's been an exercise in learning near complete selflessness- temporarily putting all else aside to try to provide the most nurturing, enriching, loving environment for two soft new human beings to thrive in.  It's also been a humbling look at my own reflection, which is full of impatience, grumpiness, pride, self-centeredness...

The babies are now almost 2 and getting ever so independent (without having the skills yet to really do stuff themselves).  One of their favorite words for the past several months is "SELF".  SELF to when I try to feed them.  SELF to when I try to put on their shoes.  SELF to when I try to carry them or grab their hands while walking through a parking lot.  Of course after a few moments of fumbling and frustration, this is usually followed by a "HELP ME".  Ah, how precious this age is.

Along with their independence is mama's antsiness to regain some of her freedom.  I'm not talking about leaving the babies to go party it up or anything, but to regain a little bit of my identity.  A lot of brainstorming has been taking place over the past year or so and hopefully I'll get the train moving on one of these fronts within the next year.

That's all I have for now homies.  And true to form, a few pictures...

I'm still alive!

Hi out there!  Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive...  I decided that I needed to focus on a few projects this past month and as you might be able to imagine, twins + a few projects = no time!  BUT... I'll be back in full force come 2012.  Can't believe it's already just right around the corner!  In the meantime, here's a video to brighten your day!

What happens in Vegas (thankfully) stays in Vegas

So I'm happy to report that we made it back in one piece from Vegas this past weekend.  A couple things I've learned from this trip:

• Babies are very adaptable.  The nuggets gave us no problems and adjusted surprisingly well to being and sleeping in a new environment for the first time.  We, on the other hand, were straight up miserable the whole time from basically pulling an all-nighter before the drive and then walking around like pack mule sherpa zombies trying to show the nuggets a good time.  The 8.5 hour drive back did not, I repeat, not, make for a very fun trip (never ever again).
• Vegas will never be the same Vegas I knew prior to having babies.  I guess until they're old enough to stay with the grandparents for a few days, but by then, who wants to see this mama all decked out Vegas style waiting in lines to get into clubs and partying like it's going out of style?  It's like Knocked Up played out in real life (bouncer:  I can't let you in cause you're old as f----).  Sob.  
• With as long as it took to get there and back and with as much work as it was toting around two 8 month olds and all the stuff that goes along with that, a one day trip will never happen again.  We basically set ourselves up for exhaustion, bickering and a necessary week of recovery.

But to end the whining on a positive note, I will say, it's pretty awesome to see the looks on babies' faces the first time they experience something and to literally witness their minds opening up right before your eyes.  For them, every day is chock full of firsts and just to be able to provide them with colorful, albeit sometimes stressful and tiring, experiences really does make it all worth while in the end. 

And of course a few pictures to wrap this up.  

Sheer madness

A bit tired after a long night of gambling

Our attempt at a family picture

This is how we eat.  With one baby strapped to each of us.

 

Mama's signing off.  Need to rest my tired eyes!

Odds and ends and an addiction

This weekend was just one of those weekends where it seemed like each day was 48 hours without a moment's rest.  In other words, really really long and painful.  A bit of an exaggeration, but with both nuggets teething and refusing to eat their dinners and having to wrestle with them with each bottle, there were at least a few Calgon moments.


A few random tidbits:


Isn't it super adorable how babies discover a new trick and then proceed to turn it into an obsession?  Like looking at the world upside down.  I totally get it though.  It's like discovering you're a superhero or something.  All of sudden, being able to do a really cool and seemingly magical thing upon waking up one day.  Ah, to start with a completely blank canvas once again...

Drinking from sippy cups is fun.

Messing around with my camera.

And after one lesson, I think I'm somewhat addicted.  I hope the addiction lasts long enough for me to learn how to actually make something cool.

Lastly, not a really accurate shot of the new do since it's still sopping wet here, but I like it.  It's not dramatic nor all too different from what my hair looked like before I got it cut, but it's lighter and even more of a "step out of the shower and go" type of style.  I'm all about simplicity nowadays.  :)

Happy Halloween!

Hope everyone's a little sweeter tomorrow!  :)

Cozy day

Yesterday was one of those days where I decided to keep the nuggets in their pjs... They just looked so cozy and comfortable while it's chilly out (for LA).

I remember actually buying something akin to a sleep n' play from J. Crew back in law school.  Somehow, it just didn't have the same effect...

And, what a cool fish bowl.  It looks somewhat precarious but neat idea nonetheless!

(via here)

Busy busy

So mama's flying solo this week and perhaps from now on (which may explain the sporadic posts).  At least for most of the day, until someone comes and rescues me from the bottles, dishes, trays, toys up to my neck by day's end.  And guess what?  I've been loving it (at least for the past few days).

I'm by nature a huge multi-tasker and also need structure to my day and that's exactly what is happening by necessity.  Juggling two mobile 7-month olds is a formidable task, but I'm up for it!  I enjoy feeling 100% productive, as frazzling as it may be at times, and also having the privacy I've craved ever since having full time help here (never been much of a team player).  People may say I'm crazy for choosing to go at this alone, but now I can be as goofy, as mushy and as entertaining as I want.  

But of course I need to carve out some me time to keep my mind stimulated and my creative juices flowing so finding that perfect balance may take some rearranging and figuring out.  

That's my life in a nutshell this week so please bear with me as I get into this groove. 

On a different note, is fall finally here or what??  I've been waiting in eager anticipation, with sweaters in hand, pumpkin spice lattes in tow, scarves at the ready, but we still have the random hot day here and there.  Granted, I live in LA but still... I'm so ready for it to be cold and stay cold.  Today is perfectly overcast though, and guess what arrived?  My Rachel Comey Barbaro boots.  

Perfect timing and perfect shoe for this season.

Happy weekend!

TGIF and see you next week everyone!

Tattoos

To tattoo or not to tattoo?  Back up for a second...

When you think of tattoos, at least when I do, images of the Hells Angels, society's misfits or girls baring their cheesily inked lower backs with very low riding jeans often come to mind- not attorneys/working professionals (or now retired professionals/stay at home moms) or other "respectable" members of society.

But I have one already.  I love it and think it's beautiful.  It's beautiful to me because it's meaningful and something I know I won't tire of.  It was never meant to be a fashion statement nor a statement of any kind.  It wasn't a spur of the moment decision.  So this isn't an issue of whether I want one.  I have one.

I actually walked into the tattoo studio yesterday but left without one because they didn't have any appointments available but I'm not really contemplating another.  I know I'm going to get one.  Location and content to be revealed at a later time.

Now that I'm a mother, of course the thought of whether I want my nuggets to see mommy's tattoos or whether I'd approve if they got one has crossed my mind.  Without getting into too intense or serious of a discussion, so long as they stay on the straight and narrow like I have and use their utmost discretion (and run it by me a million times before actually doing it), I won't have a heart attack.

One thing I did leave the studio with:

Love it.


And further to my last post (and somewhat of a non sequitur but what else is new?), baby body parts are the best, aren't they?

Everything's just so plump and precious...

Weekend update

How was your weekend?  I think one can safely assume our weekends are now fairly tame and sometimes boring but let me remind you, we have not one, but two 6 month olds in our tribe, so it looks like this is the way things will be for a while.

Two highlights from this weekend:  a) on Friday, I went to the International Gem & Jewelry Show with a few jewelry designer friends of mine to watch them do their thang.  It was definitely an experience being amidst all the hustle and bustle of people digging through boxes of sparkly things, watching the pros in action and seeing what inspires them to create what they do; AND b) finally had the chance to stop by Vivier and Bentley to check out all the beauties that have been calling to me for months.  Needless to say, I was not underwhelmed.  Of course I couldn't leave completely empty handed, but more on that soon...

my stripey nuggets.  G:  hee hee!

B:  whatchyu laughing at sis? G:   i can't remember now...

photo shoot over!  let's bounce!

how cute are these little things?

Xo,
JK