Monday, February 4, 2013

No, for real, I'm still alive now

I'm not going to lie.  It's straight embarrassing to now poke my head up from out of the sand to reenter the blogging world.  It's been crazy long.  Like a teetering right on the precipice of the point of no return sort of long.  But as some wise old man or woman once said, better (super) late than never.

What have I been up to?  Er, raising two human beings who are now almost 2 years of age?  I can't really sum it all up in one entry, but I can tell you that it has been tremendous, poignant, mind numbingly boring, amazingly rewarding, stressful, exhausting, frustrating, aimless, dreamy, blissful, isolating and... absolutely precious, all at once.  Sometimes it feels like you're running a marathon with no real finish line in sight.  There's motherhood for you.

It's been an exercise in learning near complete selflessness- temporarily putting all else aside to try to provide the most nurturing, enriching, loving environment for two soft new human beings to thrive in.  It's also been a humbling look at my own reflection, which is full of impatience, grumpiness, pride, self-centeredness...

The babies are now almost 2 and getting ever so independent (without having the skills yet to really do stuff themselves).  One of their favorite words for the past several months is "SELF".  SELF to when I try to feed them.  SELF to when I try to put on their shoes.  SELF to when I try to carry them or grab their hands while walking through a parking lot.  Of course after a few moments of fumbling and frustration, this is usually followed by a "HELP ME".  Ah, how precious this age is.

Along with their independence is mama's antsiness to regain some of her freedom.  I'm not talking about leaving the babies to go party it up or anything, but to regain a little bit of my identity.  A lot of brainstorming has been taking place over the past year or so and hopefully I'll get the train moving on one of these fronts within the next year.

That's all I have for now homies.  And true to form, a few pictures...